¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿ø*¿¬
2022-06-03 340

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The most interesting city to visit in our country is Busan Haeundae. Beacause Haeundae beach is very nice and every year,there is Haeundae sand festival. In sand festival we can meet many nice work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Grace! ^^
Thank you again for this~
Please check the corrections. ^^
Have a good weekend!

- T. Rina


1. The most interesting city to visit in our country is Busan Haeundae. 
>> The most interesting city to visit in our country is Haeundae, Busan.

2. Beacause Haeundae beach is very nice and every year,there is Haeundae sand festival. 
>> Because Haeundae beach is very nice and there is a sand festival every year.

3. In sand festival we can meet many nice work
>> During the sand festival, we can meet many nice people.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119705 About climate and weather ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 7
119704 What are some good points about social networking? What are some... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 390
119703 How important is farming in your country? And Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 383
119702 Do you think it is good to always ask for suggestions? Why or... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 345
119701 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 346
119700 What do you think is the best job in the world? Why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 321
119699 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 313
119698 homeworrk ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 313
119697 What is the best historical place there in South Korea and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 0
119696 What do you think is the best job in the world? Why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 0
119695 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 218
119694 Do you prefer to go shopping or just browse? Why? 20220606... Le* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 518
119693 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 657
119692 I always try to find a positive action plan that I can do in any... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 557
119691 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 3
119690 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 321
119689 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119688 My friend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119687 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 345
119686 drink ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 443

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04