¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think men and women are equal? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¼ö
2022-06-03 179

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Men and Women's value is equal. but their charactor and system of thinking is different. And generally men's physical condition is better. especially women have a duration time of pregnant. obviously it is very import thing, but women in pregnant have to their fetus, so they can't care themselves. at the same time, men is different. they can ignore their women and fetus. they can enjoy their own life. I have a thought that's the reason men's social power is better than women.

Progress of pregnant is very important, but women's life is important, too. So, for happiness both of them, men have to cooperate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jisu!

I couldn't agree more with your overall viewpoints regarding men and women's role in outr society. Men are physically strong thus, they can care for women. In return, women should care for men and support them as they do their share of labor. Overtime, both of these genders built the world we live in today. Coexistence is a must.

Here on your homework answer, there are a few suggestions I made. First of all, as a gentle reminder, starting your sentence with a capital letter (A, B, C, D,...) marks the beginning of a new sentence. Moreover, for the rest of the other grammar suggestions, study all of your sentences below. Your strongest point here is your ideas- they were well founded and factual. Thus, well done for this homework!

Have a wonderful weekend!

-T. Donna =) 

Men and Women's value is equal. but their charactor and system of thinking is different. 
>> Men and Women's value is equal but their character and system of thinking are different. 

And generally men's physical condition is better. 
>> And generally, men's physical condition is better (stronger).

especially women have a duration time of pregnant. 
>> Especially, women have a duration time of pregnanancy.
Or: Women have a special duty for pregnancy.

obviously it is very import thing, but women in pregnant have to their fetus, so they can't care themselves. 
>> Obviously it is a very import thing, but pregnant women have their fetus, so they can't care themselves well. 
>> Obviously, it is a very import thing, but pregnant women have to take care of themselves. 

at the same time, men is different. 
>> At the same time, men are different. 

they can ignore their women and fetus. 
>> They can ignore their women and the fetus. 
>> They may not necessarily be involved in caring for women and their babies.

they can enjoy their own life. 
>> They can enjoy their own lives. 

I have a thought that's the reason men's social power is better than women.
>> I have a thought that these are the reason why men's social power is better than women.

Progress of pregnant is very important, but women's life is important, too. 
>> The progress of pregnancy is very important, but women's lives are important, too. 
Or: The progress of pregnancy is very important as well as women's lives. 

So, for happiness both of them, men have to cooperate.
>> So, for happiness, both of them, men and women have to cooperate.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117746 The weekends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-27 1
117745 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-27 4
117744 Natural disaster ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-27 519
117743 What do you think is the best TV show and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 930
117742 I hate violent students ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 3
117741 What was the best thing for you this week? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 341
117740 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 358
117739 What do you think is the most dangerous eye problem? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 284
117738 What do you think is the best TV show and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 746
117737 3/25 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 615
117736 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 798
117735 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 688
117734 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 654
117733 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 590
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 452
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 340
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 594
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 294

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04