¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think men and women are equal? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¼ö
2022-06-03 154

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Men and Women's value is equal. but their charactor and system of thinking is different. And generally men's physical condition is better. especially women have a duration time of pregnant. obviously it is very import thing, but women in pregnant have to their fetus, so they can't care themselves. at the same time, men is different. they can ignore their women and fetus. they can enjoy their own life. I have a thought that's the reason men's social power is better than women.

Progress of pregnant is very important, but women's life is important, too. So, for happiness both of them, men have to cooperate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jisu!

I couldn't agree more with your overall viewpoints regarding men and women's role in outr society. Men are physically strong thus, they can care for women. In return, women should care for men and support them as they do their share of labor. Overtime, both of these genders built the world we live in today. Coexistence is a must.

Here on your homework answer, there are a few suggestions I made. First of all, as a gentle reminder, starting your sentence with a capital letter (A, B, C, D,...) marks the beginning of a new sentence. Moreover, for the rest of the other grammar suggestions, study all of your sentences below. Your strongest point here is your ideas- they were well founded and factual. Thus, well done for this homework!

Have a wonderful weekend!

-T. Donna =) 

Men and Women's value is equal. but their charactor and system of thinking is different. 
>> Men and Women's value is equal but their character and system of thinking are different. 

And generally men's physical condition is better. 
>> And generally, men's physical condition is better (stronger).

especially women have a duration time of pregnant. 
>> Especially, women have a duration time of pregnanancy.
Or: Women have a special duty for pregnancy.

obviously it is very import thing, but women in pregnant have to their fetus, so they can't care themselves. 
>> Obviously it is a very import thing, but pregnant women have their fetus, so they can't care themselves well. 
>> Obviously, it is a very import thing, but pregnant women have to take care of themselves. 

at the same time, men is different. 
>> At the same time, men are different. 

they can ignore their women and fetus. 
>> They can ignore their women and the fetus. 
>> They may not necessarily be involved in caring for women and their babies.

they can enjoy their own life. 
>> They can enjoy their own lives. 

I have a thought that's the reason men's social power is better than women.
>> I have a thought that these are the reason why men's social power is better than women.

Progress of pregnant is very important, but women's life is important, too. 
>> The progress of pregnancy is very important, but women's lives are important, too. 
Or: The progress of pregnancy is very important as well as women's lives. 

So, for happiness both of them, men have to cooperate.
>> So, for happiness, both of them, men and women have to cooperate.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118173 What makes me exhausted ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 364
118172 What are the possible benefits of working on weekends? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 144
118171 2022.4.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 82
118170 Where do you prefer spending your money: clothes, kitchen stuff... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118169 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118168 What is your dream vacation? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118167 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 116
118166 Homework ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 124
118165 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 130
118164 4/11 homework (¡Ü\'◡\'¡Ü) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 277
118163 Describe the famous cathedral in my country. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 131
118162 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 0
118161 Do you like reading the articles on the sports page? / What... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 145
118160 What do you think is the most dangerous natural disaster? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 139
118159 The train is really punctual. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 120
118158 I want to be a common person ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 2
118157 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 3
118156 What is the best activity to do while camping? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 218
118155 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 163
118154 Can you tell me about something you would happily do again? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-11 422

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04