¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think men and women are equal? Share your answer in a few sentences.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÑ*¼ö
2022-06-03 114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Men and Women's value is equal. but their charactor and system of thinking is different. And generally men's physical condition is better. especially women have a duration time of pregnant. obviously it is very import thing, but women in pregnant have to their fetus, so they can't care themselves. at the same time, men is different. they can ignore their women and fetus. they can enjoy their own life. I have a thought that's the reason men's social power is better than women.

Progress of pregnant is very important, but women's life is important, too. So, for happiness both of them, men have to cooperate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jisu!

I couldn't agree more with your overall viewpoints regarding men and women's role in outr society. Men are physically strong thus, they can care for women. In return, women should care for men and support them as they do their share of labor. Overtime, both of these genders built the world we live in today. Coexistence is a must.

Here on your homework answer, there are a few suggestions I made. First of all, as a gentle reminder, starting your sentence with a capital letter (A, B, C, D,...) marks the beginning of a new sentence. Moreover, for the rest of the other grammar suggestions, study all of your sentences below. Your strongest point here is your ideas- they were well founded and factual. Thus, well done for this homework!

Have a wonderful weekend!

-T. Donna =) 

Men and Women's value is equal. but their charactor and system of thinking is different. 
>> Men and Women's value is equal but their character and system of thinking are different. 

And generally men's physical condition is better. 
>> And generally, men's physical condition is better (stronger).

especially women have a duration time of pregnant. 
>> Especially, women have a duration time of pregnanancy.
Or: Women have a special duty for pregnancy.

obviously it is very import thing, but women in pregnant have to their fetus, so they can't care themselves. 
>> Obviously it is a very import thing, but pregnant women have their fetus, so they can't care themselves well. 
>> Obviously, it is a very import thing, but pregnant women have to take care of themselves. 

at the same time, men is different. 
>> At the same time, men are different. 

they can ignore their women and fetus. 
>> They can ignore their women and the fetus. 
>> They may not necessarily be involved in caring for women and their babies.

they can enjoy their own life. 
>> They can enjoy their own lives. 

I have a thought that's the reason men's social power is better than women.
>> I have a thought that these are the reason why men's social power is better than women.

Progress of pregnant is very important, but women's life is important, too. 
>> The progress of pregnancy is very important, but women's lives are important, too. 
Or: The progress of pregnancy is very important as well as women's lives. 

So, for happiness both of them, men have to cooperate.
>> So, for happiness, both of them, men and women have to cooperate.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118952 [Homework] Please tell me about your favorite restaurant. ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 3
118951 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 56
118950 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 51
118949 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 59
118948 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 57
118947 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 52
118946 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 44
118945 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 0
118944 Do you think that children these days have a better or worse... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 147
118943 How would your life change if you could do whatever you want? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 105
118942 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 2
118941 Cover letter ¿Â*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 122
118940 resume ¿Â*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 64
118939 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118938 Uniform ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 7
118937 What do you do when you plan to visit a place for the first time? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118936 What gadget do you have that is not as useful as before? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 1
118935 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-12 61
118934 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 0
118933 What kinds of friend qualities I like ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-11 69

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04