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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can loneliness be bad for people’s health? How can lonely people feel better?

작성자: 김*연
2022-05-30 123

회원님의 영작문

I think loneliness give hurt to our mind and mental. When we feel loneliness, we could be shy, passive and unhappy. Those feelings would give stress to us. You know, stress is the reason of all deseases. So we have to be carefull the negative effect of loneliness. Then, how can we make the lonely people feel better? Usally people are influenced by feelings. So I recomend three methods. First, it is important to talk about the feeling to the reliable friend. Sometimes just talking can help our mind and just listening can help others. Second, doing other things can be a good way to get red of the loneliness. It means finding our own hobby. It is not important to do very well. Just the mind that can enjoy with joy is very good. So we must to try to find our own hobby. Last, just love your feeling. If we encount our own feelings, we can understand ourself and love ourself. Then loneliness is just a tiny things for us. We can have confidence and try to do something new or interesting.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Arisssa! 

Loneliness is really something. It gives us pain, it makes people depressed. I think, most if not all of us, especially adults, have experienced it. 
It's so negative and difficult. It takes time and courage to overcome loneliness especially if it's rooted deep. However, like you mentioned, there are ways on how we can overcome it and feel better. The first method you mentioned is really works I would say based on experience. It was difficult to do it but it was the most effective. When a person lets out their thoughts and feelings and know that someone's listening, that gives healing. Finding a hobby is also good as it shifts our focus to something else. The third one you mentioned is also a crucial method. Learning to accept and love our feeling is important to understand it better, same as understanding ourselves and  eventually, loving ourselves more to get better. 

~ Teacher Gina

I think loneliness give hurt to our mind and mental. When we feel loneliness, we could be shy, passive and unhappy. Those feelings would give stress to us. You know, stress is the reason of all deseases. So we have to be carefull the negative effect of loneliness. Then, how can we make the lonely people feel better? Usally people are influenced by feelings. So I recomend three methods. First, it is important to talk about the feeling to the reliable friend. Sometimes just talking can help our mind and just listening can help others. Second, doing other things can be a good way to get red of the loneliness. It means finding our own hobby. It is not important to do very well. Just the mind that can enjoy with joy is very good. So we must to try to find our own hobby. Last, just love your feeling. If we encount our own feelings, we can understand ourself and love ourself. Then loneliness is just a tiny things for us. We can have confidence and try to do something new or interesting.

>> I think loneliness gives pain to our minds and mentality. When we feel lonely, we can be shy, passive, and unhappy. Those feelings would give stress to us. You know, stress is the reason for all diseases. So we have to be careful about the negative effect of loneliness. Then, how can we make lonely people feel better? Usually, people are influenced by feelings. So I recommend three methods. First, it is important to talk about your feeling to a reliable friend. Sometimes just talking can help our mind, and just listening can help others. Second, doing other things can be a good way to get rid of loneliness. It means finding our own hobby. It is not important to do very well. Just as long as the mind can enjoy it is very good. So we must try to find our own hobby. Last, love your feeling. If we encounter our own feelings, we can understand ourselves and love ourselves. Then loneliness is just a tiny thing for us. We can have confidence and try to do something new or interesting.
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