무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How can loneliness be bad for people’s health? How can lonely people feel better?

작성자: 김*연
2022-05-30 272

회원님의 영작문

I think loneliness give hurt to our mind and mental. When we feel loneliness, we could be shy, passive and unhappy. Those feelings would give stress to us. You know, stress is the reason of all deseases. So we have to be carefull the negative effect of loneliness. Then, how can we make the lonely people feel better? Usally people are influenced by feelings. So I recomend three methods. First, it is important to talk about the feeling to the reliable friend. Sometimes just talking can help our mind and just listening can help others. Second, doing other things can be a good way to get red of the loneliness. It means finding our own hobby. It is not important to do very well. Just the mind that can enjoy with joy is very good. So we must to try to find our own hobby. Last, just love your feeling. If we encount our own feelings, we can understand ourself and love ourself. Then loneliness is just a tiny things for us. We can have confidence and try to do something new or interesting.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Arisssa! 

Loneliness is really something. It gives us pain, it makes people depressed. I think, most if not all of us, especially adults, have experienced it. 
It's so negative and difficult. It takes time and courage to overcome loneliness especially if it's rooted deep. However, like you mentioned, there are ways on how we can overcome it and feel better. The first method you mentioned is really works I would say based on experience. It was difficult to do it but it was the most effective. When a person lets out their thoughts and feelings and know that someone's listening, that gives healing. Finding a hobby is also good as it shifts our focus to something else. The third one you mentioned is also a crucial method. Learning to accept and love our feeling is important to understand it better, same as understanding ourselves and  eventually, loving ourselves more to get better. 

~ Teacher Gina

I think loneliness give hurt to our mind and mental. When we feel loneliness, we could be shy, passive and unhappy. Those feelings would give stress to us. You know, stress is the reason of all deseases. So we have to be carefull the negative effect of loneliness. Then, how can we make the lonely people feel better? Usally people are influenced by feelings. So I recomend three methods. First, it is important to talk about the feeling to the reliable friend. Sometimes just talking can help our mind and just listening can help others. Second, doing other things can be a good way to get red of the loneliness. It means finding our own hobby. It is not important to do very well. Just the mind that can enjoy with joy is very good. So we must to try to find our own hobby. Last, just love your feeling. If we encount our own feelings, we can understand ourself and love ourself. Then loneliness is just a tiny things for us. We can have confidence and try to do something new or interesting.

>> I think loneliness gives pain to our minds and mentality. When we feel lonely, we can be shy, passive, and unhappy. Those feelings would give stress to us. You know, stress is the reason for all diseases. So we have to be careful about the negative effect of loneliness. Then, how can we make lonely people feel better? Usually, people are influenced by feelings. So I recommend three methods. First, it is important to talk about your feeling to a reliable friend. Sometimes just talking can help our mind, and just listening can help others. Second, doing other things can be a good way to get rid of loneliness. It means finding our own hobby. It is not important to do very well. Just as long as the mind can enjoy it is very good. So we must try to find our own hobby. Last, love your feeling. If we encounter our own feelings, we can understand ourselves and love ourselves. Then loneliness is just a tiny thing for us. We can have confidence and try to do something new or interesting.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
121511 homework 김*민 완료 2022-08-11 2
121510 homework 김*민 완료 2022-08-11 1
121509 life expectancy 권*희 완료 2022-08-11 683
121508 Should parents help their children set goals? 전*연 완료 2022-08-11 2
121507 It seeme like a family birthday party. 박*영 완료 2022-08-11 1008
121506 Describe a natural disaster that you have experienced in your... 김*진 완료 2022-08-11 2
121505 How is elementary education system in America different with... 서*영 완료 2022-08-11 2
121504 What do you love doing with your relatives? 이*현 완료 2022-08-11 1277
121503 Make decision 차*진 완료 2022-08-11 1
121502 8/10 HOMEWORK 이*유 완료 2022-08-10 774
121501 Why is helping others important? 이*태 완료 2022-08-10 640
121500 Do you prefer relaxing weekends doing nothing or active ones? /... 박*태 완료 2022-08-10 1251
121499 Homework 김*서 완료 2022-08-10 983
121498 Homework 김*우 완료 2022-08-10 805
121497 When I wished the rain would stop 조*성 완료 2022-08-10 1059
121496 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? 이*현 완료 2022-08-10 893
121495 What is the best way to enjoy Chuseok without spending too much? 권*원 완료 2022-08-10 927
121494 Trading Time for Money 김*경 완료 2022-08-10 1402
121493 homework 김*연 완료 2022-08-10 685
121492 homework 김*연 완료 2022-08-10 883

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]