¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think will happen if we lived in a world without animals?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-25 261

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

They play a very important role in our lives. I think we can't survive without them. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think there will be more people with depression in the world. 
>> CORRECT

It's inevitable that there will be fewer people to love or communicate with. 
>> CORRECT

Also, animals are the ones who comfort and comfort you when you're tired.
>> Also, animals are the ones who comfort us when we are tired. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119263 Do you think watching TV is educational? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-24 315
119262 Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care.... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 0
119261 Have you ever borrowed a big deal of money? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 3
119260 Is watching Tv educational? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 349
119259 Write about a certain hobby that has also provided income for... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 0
119258 5/23 HOMEWORK 🎈 ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 338
119257 When do you usually need a hand? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 327
119256 What can children and other people learn by having a pet? (this... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 1
119255 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 312
119254 Describe what kind of characteristics your friends have. ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 331
119253 Please tell me about how you became successful. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 333
119252 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 0
119251 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 2
119250 Would you like to travel alone to another country? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 326
119249 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 250
119248 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 213
119247 Who is your favourite and least favourite Disney character? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 1
119246 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 325
119245 What do you think should the government do regarding the air... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 256
119244 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 307

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04