¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-24 255

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less entertainment facilities.
Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

That's true. There are traffic jams because of too much cars on the road. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
>> I think we have to spread the number of people to other cities because there are too many citizens in Soul. 

Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
>> Because of this, Seoul is overpopulated. 

So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
>> This causes a lot of traffic jams in the city. 

But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less 
entertainment facilities.
>> But when we go to country sides, we can go to different facilities much easier. 

Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118097 plastics ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 303
118096 Are social networking sites for people who aren¡¯t good at... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118095 What would you do if the food didn¡¯t taste good or you received... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 3
118094 Most people say the book is better than the movie. Is this true... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 0
118093 Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-08 247
118092 Companies spend millions each year on advertising online, in... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 1
118091 4/7 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 335
118090 I thought it was the whole thing, but the back part is missing.... ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 206
118089 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 1
118088 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 130
118087 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 3
118086 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 177
118085 Studying needs motivation ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 150
118084 What successful goal did you have last year? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 257
118083 Is it important for children to have a pet? Why do people have... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 104
118082 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 2
118081 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 94
118080 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 162
118079 sorry but there\'s a little bit more to review this time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 290
118078 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-07 197

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04