¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-24 246

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less entertainment facilities.
Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

That's true. There are traffic jams because of too much cars on the road. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
>> I think we have to spread the number of people to other cities because there are too many citizens in Soul. 

Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
>> Because of this, Seoul is overpopulated. 

So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
>> This causes a lot of traffic jams in the city. 

But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less 
entertainment facilities.
>> But when we go to country sides, we can go to different facilities much easier. 

Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118188 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 82
118187 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118186 The best activity ot during camping. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 126
118185 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 401
118184 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 109
118183 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 116
118182 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118181 How do you control or take away your unwanted loneliness? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118180 What is one good program of your company that makes its... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118179 Seoul is representative city of South Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 136
118178 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118177 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118176 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 123
118175 What\'s the weirdest diet you have heard about? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 115
118174 Have you eaten any strange foods? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118173 What makes me exhausted ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 362
118172 What are the possible benefits of working on weekends? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 142
118171 2022.4.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 78
118170 Where do you prefer spending your money: clothes, kitchen stuff... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118169 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04