¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you think can we solve traffic problems there in South Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-24 252

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less entertainment facilities.
Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

That's true. There are traffic jams because of too much cars on the road. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think we have to spread people to other cities because too many citizens are living in Seoul.
>> I think we have to spread the number of people to other cities because there are too many citizens in Soul. 

Because of these reason, there are too my citizens in the around of Seoul and in Seoul.
>> Because of this, Seoul is overpopulated. 

So around Seoul, we can easily find different kinds of traffic problems.
>> This causes a lot of traffic jams in the city. 

But around the countrysides, we can easily experience that there are too less 
entertainment facilities.
>> But when we go to country sides, we can go to different facilities much easier. 

Because of these reasons, I think the South Korean government have to spread the people to other cities.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120677 . ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120676 What is the name of the disease you fear most? Why? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 4
120675 What I\'m afraid about ±è*¿± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1057
120674 If you could be invisible for a couple of hours, what would you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 467
120673 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 2
120672 What do you do to look after your skin? Do you like the color of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 841
120671 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 606
120670 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 523
120669 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 320
120668 Do you think robots or AI will replace human teachers in the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 538
120667 s it better for kids to have siblings? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 392
120666 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 451
120665 Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes? And why? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 855
120664 Previous class review. (Top Gun etc.) À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 2
120663 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 0
120662 Smokers Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 1
120661 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 0
120660 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 643
120659 Hi Gemmar ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 427
120658 My children ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-12 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04