¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do regarding the air pollution in South Korea? Explain your

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-23 203

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Those are great ideas!

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
>> In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the world about this situation.

It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
>> CORRECT

But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
>> But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, there's a possibility that it can make situations worse. 

Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118566 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 55
118565 My daily life ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118564 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118563 What was your success story in your company? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 105
118562 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118561 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 3
118560 Homework : What is your worst experience in life that you can\'t... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 2
118559 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118558 What is your best experience in life? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 97
118557 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 0
118556 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 0
118555 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 67
118554 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 80
118553 home ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 626
118552 Bad Experience ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 110
118551 about discussions with other people À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 97
118550 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 78
118549 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 87
118548 Introduce ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 159
118547 What was the lamest excuse you had before? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 211

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04