¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do regarding the air pollution in South Korea? Explain your

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-23 192

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Those are great ideas!

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
>> In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the world about this situation.

It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
>> CORRECT

But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
>> But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, there's a possibility that it can make situations worse. 

Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118684 Last Friday Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 94
118683 What makes reading enjoyable for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 70
118682 My last adventure ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 97
118681 What is the best way to solve a problem about your neighbors? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 93
118680 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 92
118679 What annoys you about yourself? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 1
118678 Friend À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 106
118677 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 102
118676 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 63
118675 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 68
118674 What is your definition of success and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 1
118673 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 60
118672 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 63
118671 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 73
118670 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 96
118669 Can you name two things you really want to buy right now? Why? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 61
118668 Traditional Books ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 95
118667 What are the times of the year that you give gifts? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 0
118666 The food shortage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 2
118665 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 187

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04