¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do regarding the air pollution in South Korea? Explain your

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-23 180

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Those are great ideas!

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
>> In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the world about this situation.

It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
>> CORRECT

But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
>> But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, there's a possibility that it can make situations worse. 

Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118804 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 54
118803 What is one dilemma you have nowadays? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 63
118802 What (besides good food) makes a restaurant great? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 86
118801 How about you? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 123
118800 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118799 For you, do you prefer the idea of extended or nuclear families? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 113
118798 5.3 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 71
118797 5.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 67
118796 5.6 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 58
118795 school uniform ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 127
118794 5.3 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 103
118793 What life lessons can we learn from playing sports? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 98
118792 5.2 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 81
118791 How important is time in your culture? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 105
118790 4.28 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 85
118789 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118788 4.26 homework Çö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 61
118787 Your confirmation is required ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 119
118786 Your help is needed for then Green Cross account ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1
118785 Long time no connection ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-06 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04