¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government do regarding the air pollution in South Korea? Explain your

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-05-23 170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Those are great ideas!

 Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the air situations of here to the world.
>> In my opinion, the government of South Korea should notify the world about this situation.

It is hard to reduce the air pollution by ourselves because the biggest cause of the air pollution is China.
>> CORRECT

But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, then it could make worse situations.
>> But if we speak about the situation of South Korea, there's a possibility that it can make situations worse. 

Because of these reasons, I think we need to notify these situations to the world.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119758 The happiest memory of my school says. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 235
119757 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119756 make a lot of money or enjoy your job? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 296
119755 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119754 What do you have on your bucket list? What are the benefits of... ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 285
119753 the capsized canoe ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 347
119752 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 318
119751 What is your most dangerous experience in life? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 581
119750 What three things do you do to loosen up? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 2
119749 How often do you go shopping for food? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 204
119748 What animal best represents you? Why? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-10 1
119747 What are your top appointments nowadays? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119746 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 182
119745 6/9 HOMEWORK ( •̀ ¥ø •́ )y ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 416
119744 I\'d rather swim in a pool ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 528
119743 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 3
119742 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 2
119741 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 326
119740 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 356
119739 About festivals ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-09 12

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04