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I also passionately play table tennis every day for my health.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-05-20 1259

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Let me introduce myself briefly. I want to express myself as a boy with many dreams. I'm always learning something and doing something constantly.

After becoming the CEO of Hen-in-Han, the learning seems to have become more intense. I have been studying business administration for two years to run a business well, and I am studying English and trade to export hand-in-hand toothbrushes myself. And I also passionately play table tennis every day for my health.

Our company has been producing toothbrushes and dental floss for over 20 years, and in recent years, we have printed, packaged and delivered promotional materials and souvenirs for campaigns. In our company, disabled and non-disabled people work together. We all want to be happy and we are working hard together.

I hope to live the day that is given to me today hard and happily.
I thank God for giving me this day~~ I hope that I will live according to the word that tells the world to live like light and salt.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Elliot! 

Thank you for answering the Homework question. Please take note of the corrections/ suggestions below: 

Writing Task:  Kindly introduce yourself. You can talk about your family and work. Please talk about your hobbies and interests as well. :-)

Your Answer: 

Let me introduce myself briefly. I want to express myself as a boy with many dreams. I'm always learning something and doing something constantly.

After becoming the CEO of Hen-in-Han, the learning seems to have become more intense. I have been studying business administration for two years to run a business well, and I am studying English and trade to export hand-in-hand toothbrushes myself. And I also passionately play table tennis every day for my health.

Our company has been producing toothbrushes and dental floss for over 20 years, and in recent years, we have printed, packaged and delivered promotional materials and souvenirs for campaigns. In our company, disabled and non-disabled people work together. We all want to be happy and we are working hard together.

I hope to live the day that is given to me today hard and happily.
I thank God for giving me this day~~ I hope that I will live according to the word that tells the world to live like light and salt.

Corrected Version: 

Let me introduce myself briefly. I want to express myself as a boy with many dreams. 
I'm constantly learning and doing something everyday. <Always and constantly almost mean the same thing, so it would be better if you only use 1 word in 1 sentence.>

After becoming the CEO of Hen-in-Han, the learning seems to have become more intense. I have been studying business administration for two years to run the business well, and I am studying English and trade to export hand-in-hand toothbrushes. I also passionately play table tennis every day for my health. <Just minor corrections on article <such as the and a/an> usage in this paragraph. :)> 

Our company has been producing toothbrushes and dental floss for over 20 years, and in recent years, we have printed, packaged and delivered promotional materials and souvenirs for campaigns. 
Our company employs persons with disabilities (PWD) and everyone gets along well with everybody. <In formal English language, the term persons with disabilities or PWD is more commonly used.> 

We all want to be happy and we are working hard together.

I hope to live each day given to me happily. I thank God for giving me this day. I hope to live like light and salt just like what the word tells the world to do. <Just minor corrections too.> 

----

It's nice to finally get to know some cool things about you, Elliot! Thank you for sharing it with me. :-) 

Have a great night and weekend ahead and see you again next week! ^^


~Teacher Miya ^^
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