¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you worried about your future?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-19 318

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, the prices of houses there are unbelievable! 
 
Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

For sure, at my age in South Korea, men worry about the future. 
>> For sure, men at my age here in South Korea usually worry about their future. 

getting my own house, getting a job, dating, etc. I'm most worried about how to get my own house, house prices have risen dramatically, and mortgage loans are also hard to get.
>> They usually worry about owning a house and getting a job. I am most worried about getting my own house because real estate prices have risen dramatically and mortgage loans are also hard to get. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119141 Driving under influence of alcohol is a big problem these days.... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 354
119140 Why I like meeting new people. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 295
119139 Are you worried about your future? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-19 318
119138 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 178
119137 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 219
119136 Writing Task(May 17th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 312
119135 5/18 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 274
119134 What motivates you in wanting to make books? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 314
119133 My study skills. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 352
119132 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 328
119131 I prefer to eat at home ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 12
119130 homework (16th May) ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 283
119129 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 236
119128 How do you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 340
119127 Do you think gardening is good for your health? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 359
119126 What are the disadvantages of technology? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 359
119125 What is the most dangerous thing you¡¯ve done? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 1
119124 About the study. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 228
119123 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 2
119122 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04