¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How was your childhood in your time?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-05-17 243

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I was born in rural area which is northern part of Kyeonggi provience. My father was a taxi driver which is nice job to make money. My family didn't have any financial problem until my father had a car accident. We went out for dinner once a month, took a trip frenquently and had a plan to buy own house. But we spent a lot of money for medical expenses due to traffic accident. My father was admitted in the hospital for about a year and needed to pay huge money. The doctor told my mother that he was under the serious condition that might lost his life. Fortunately, he overcame from the injury. However, my family couldn't find proper house due to small budget. We rented a small house next to the church which my family attended. The pastor might rent it alomost free for us. Sinece the accident, mom and father worked hard. They didn't have any time to spend with children so, my sister and I stayed at home lonely. I felt really scared to be there without parents. I remember that we cried a

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

I was born in rural area which is northern part of Kyeonggi provience. 
>> I was born in rural area which is northern part of Kyeonggi province. 
My father was a taxi driver which is nice job to make money. 
>> CORRECT!
My family didn't have any financial problem until my father had a car accident. 
>> CORRECT!
We went out for dinner once a month, took a trip frenquently and had a plan to buy own house.
>> CORRECT!
But we spent a lot of money for medical expenses due to traffic accident. 
>> But we spent a lot of money for medical expenses due to a road accident. 
My father was admitted in the hospital for about a year and needed to pay huge money. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> My father was admitted in the hospital for about a year and needed to pay a large amount of money. 
The doctor told my mother that he was under the serious condition that might lost his life.
>> The doctor told my mother that he was under a serious condition that might lose his life.
 Fortunately, he overcame from the injury. 
>>  Fortunately, he recovered from the injury. 
However, my family couldn't find proper house due to small budget. 
>> However, my family couldn't find a proper house due to small budget. 
We rented a small house next to the church which my family attended. 
>> CORRECT!
The pastor might rent it alomost free for us. 
>> The pastor might rent it almost for free, for us. 
Sinece the accident, mom and father worked hard. 
>> Since the accident, my mom and dad worked hard. 
OR >> Since then, my parents worked hard.
They didn't have any time to spend with children so, my sister and I stayed at home lonely. 
>> CORRECT!
I felt really scared to be there without parents. 
>> CORRECT!
I remember that we cried a
>> I remember that we cried a lot without them around for a moment.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120937 Writing Task(Jul 15th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 446
120936 Please check my sentence. thanks ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 560
120935 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120934 In your opinion, what other customs or practices that aren¡¯t... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 533
120933 Writing Task(Jul 14th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 696
120932 Do you think it\'s easy for people to recognize real religion... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 699
120931 Why do people become criminals? What are the causes of crime?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 379
120930 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 531
120929 Is religion important? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 635
120928 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 2
120927 Do you prefer to have many friends or just a few that you are... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 676
120926 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 591
120925 How do you feel about artificial intelligence-assisted... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 663
120924 homework Á¤*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 0
120923 homework Á¤*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 1
120922 About the zombie village. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 483
120921 homework on July 19th ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 693
120920 What is the perfect thing to do during summer there in your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 502
120919 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 474
120918 [2022.07.20_H.W] What do you like best about your culture? ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 533

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04