¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-05-13 93

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing to feed their families?

Of course. Because It is a crime. They need to be punished less, but it doesn't tell they don't be punished. The punishment must be done to every criminal regardless economic environment. If they don't have money, they don't steal, they just work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! 

Yes, a crime is a crime. The law excuses no one. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Of course. Because It is a crime. 
>> Of course because it is a crime. 

They need to be punished less, but it doesn't tell they don't be punished. 
>> They need to be punished but not as severe as other criminals. 

The punishment must be done to every criminal regardless economic environment. 
>> Every criminal should be punished regardless of their reasons. 

If they don't have money, they don't steal, they just work.
>> If they don't have money, they shouldn't steal but work instead. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119072 1st homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 81
119071 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119070 What is the most dangerous thing you¡¯ve done? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 0
119069 No visiting ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 3
119068 What is your opinion about ¡°edu-sitters¡±? Do you think they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 110
119067 What do you want to be improved in your country\'s health care... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 121
119066 The most expensive thing. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 88
119065 How was your childhood in your time? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 95
119064 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119063 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 67
119062 Do you think people should give money to homeless people? Why or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 1
119061 5.16 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 71
119060 Should Japan say \'SORRY\' to South Korea? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 2
119059 Do you think North Korea and South Korea will unite soon? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-17 113
119058 Disadvantages of Technology ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 73
119057 Machines that makes our lives easier ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 80
119056 5/16 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 70
119055 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 96
119054 In your opinion, what do you think is the most terrible disease? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 94
119053 Homework(2) ±è*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04