¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2022-05-13 172

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Should poor people be punished for stealing if they are stealing to feed their families?

Of course. Because It is a crime. They need to be punished less, but it doesn't tell they don't be punished. The punishment must be done to every criminal regardless economic environment. If they don't have money, they don't steal, they just work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won! 

Yes, a crime is a crime. The law excuses no one. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Of course. Because It is a crime. 
>> Of course because it is a crime. 

They need to be punished less, but it doesn't tell they don't be punished. 
>> They need to be punished but not as severe as other criminals. 

The punishment must be done to every criminal regardless economic environment. 
>> Every criminal should be punished regardless of their reasons. 

If they don't have money, they don't steal, they just work.
>> If they don't have money, they shouldn't steal but work instead. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119946 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 2
119945 Talk about your most memorable summer vacation. ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 1009
119944 Please tell me about your best hotel experience. ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 4
119943 If I could change my name. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 333
119942 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 539
119941 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 0
119940 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 0
119939 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 0
119938 What is the most expensive thing that you would want to buy and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 753
119937 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 534
119936 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 4
119935 My career plan ¾È*Çå ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 355
119934 Traditional ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 692
119933 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 1
119932 Why do you think former president Moon Jae-in¡¯s nuclear... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 908
119931 6.16 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 612
119930 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 522
119929 What advantages are there for a woman who stays at home when her... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 1
119928 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 730
119927 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-17 412

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04