¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about the increasing number of unmarried Koreans in their 20s who don¡¯t want to

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-05-13 202

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is kind of international movement that young people don't want to get married due to the child rearing expenses. Prices are continously increasing around the world and the polarization of wealth has become more serious. It was possible to be successful,if people studied hard for their future life. However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more qualitive education from private tutors, in contrast poor people are not affordable to get better education.
Parenting is also problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era so many parents ask their mom to take care of their children. If they don't have any family members who can bring up their children, they should hire nanny that might need a lot of money. In addintion, we have countless problem like enterance fee of university, house price and aging society ect.I think adults must understand it and have to provide solution

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is kind of international movement that young people don't want to get married due to the child rearing expenses. 
>> CORRECT!
Prices are continously increasing around the world and the polarization of wealth has become more serious. 
>> CORRECT!
It was possible to be successful, if people studied hard for their future life. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It was possible to be successful, if only people studied hard for what kind of life would they want in the future. 
However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more qualitive education from private tutors, in contrast poor people are not affordable to get better education.
>> However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more quality education from private tutors, in contrast poor peoplecan't afford to get better education.
Parenting is also problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era so many parents ask their mom to take care of their children. 
>> Parenting is also a problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era, so many parents ask their moms to take care of their children. 
If they don't have any family members who can bring up their children, they should hire nanny that might need a lot of money. 
>> If they don't have any family members who can look after their children, they should hire a nanny that might need a lot of money. 
In addintion, we have countless problem like enterance fee of university, house price and aging society ect.
>> In addition, we have countless problems like university entrance fees, house price and aging society, etc.
I think adults must understand it and have to provide solution
>> I think adults must understand it and have to provide solutions to this problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117824 Writing Task (Mar 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 312
117823 home work ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 372
117822 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 538
117821 Homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 526
117820 Do you think chocolate is healthy? Why or why not? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 620
117819 Rewind ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1
117818 What do you usually do when you hang out with your friends? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 633
117817 How much free time do you usually have? What do you like to do... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 522
117816 Do you think Seoul City is a nice place to live in? Yes or No... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 213
117815 do you think chocolate is healthy? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 499
117814 Do you have any hobbies?what is that? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 642
117813 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 0
117812 What type of work environment do you prefer? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 605
117811 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 579
117810 What do you think is the best TV show and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 2
117809 What is your favorite holiday in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 547
117808 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 174
117807 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 2
117806 I think we¡¯d better not borrow money ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 895
117805 What fun activities do you do in spring? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04