¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about the increasing number of unmarried Koreans in their 20s who don¡¯t want to

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-05-13 187

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is kind of international movement that young people don't want to get married due to the child rearing expenses. Prices are continously increasing around the world and the polarization of wealth has become more serious. It was possible to be successful,if people studied hard for their future life. However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more qualitive education from private tutors, in contrast poor people are not affordable to get better education.
Parenting is also problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era so many parents ask their mom to take care of their children. If they don't have any family members who can bring up their children, they should hire nanny that might need a lot of money. In addintion, we have countless problem like enterance fee of university, house price and aging society ect.I think adults must understand it and have to provide solution

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

It is kind of international movement that young people don't want to get married due to the child rearing expenses. 
>> CORRECT!
Prices are continously increasing around the world and the polarization of wealth has become more serious. 
>> CORRECT!
It was possible to be successful, if people studied hard for their future life. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It was possible to be successful, if only people studied hard for what kind of life would they want in the future. 
However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more qualitive education from private tutors, in contrast poor people are not affordable to get better education.
>> However, it is almost impossible to get better job for poor people than rich people because children under the wealthy family receive more quality education from private tutors, in contrast poor peoplecan't afford to get better education.
Parenting is also problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era so many parents ask their mom to take care of their children. 
>> Parenting is also a problem for young people because couples are usually working in this era, so many parents ask their moms to take care of their children. 
If they don't have any family members who can bring up their children, they should hire nanny that might need a lot of money. 
>> If they don't have any family members who can look after their children, they should hire a nanny that might need a lot of money. 
In addintion, we have countless problem like enterance fee of university, house price and aging society ect.
>> In addition, we have countless problems like university entrance fees, house price and aging society, etc.
I think adults must understand it and have to provide solution
>> I think adults must understand it and have to provide solutions to this problem.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117984 Why I like the stars more than the sun. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 274
117983 Why are some sports fans so passionate? : 1. under a lot of... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 2
117982 What I did when I go to supermarket last weekend. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 315
117981 Why I think homework is important ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 342
117980 Writing Task (Apr 4th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 583
117979 4/4 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 276
117978 Tattoo ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 419
117977 Do you always make specific plans on weekends? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 321
117976 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 1
117975 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 2
117974 Do you think it would be harder to live with a physical... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 507
117973 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 2
117972 What other ways can you think of to stand the heat? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 375
117971 Do you think people feel different when they wear different... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 350
117970 Mentally distressed ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 4
117969 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 413
117968 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? Why... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 407
117967 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 158
117966 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 0
117965 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-04 152

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04