¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*
2022-05-12 149

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can't say it is getting worse than my childhood indeed. because I know it is a change. now they are not playing outside with their friends. only indoor things such as video games, watching tv. when I was young boy, then I always go out to play with my friends and some older, younger friends. then also I could learn about something happened apart home and my parents. my world were small but there were so many things to I can learn. those thing were not on the textbooks, at the school, at home. those were so special experiences that I could have.
but at the present. children are online. they are in the internet. their world now is vast but it is only exist in the internet. they don't want to play and experience something outside. I can't blame their life style. it is changing. the thing we need to have is watch the change and trying to understand.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lim! 

That's true. Kids nowadays are so different. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I can't say it is getting worse than my childhood indeed. 
>> I can't say that this generation's childhood is worse than mine. 

because I know it is a change. 
>> It is because change is constant. 

now they are not playing outside with their friends. 
>> Kids nowadays don't play that much with their friends anymore. 

only indoor things such as video games, watching tv. 
>> They do indoor things such as playing video games or watching T.V.

when I was young boy, then I always go out to play with my friends and some older, younger friends. 
>> When I was a young boy, I would usually go outside to play with my friends. Some of them are older and some are younger than me. 

then also I could learn about something happened apart home and my parents. 
>> I could learn a lot of things from outside my house. 

my world were small but there were so many things to I can learn. 
>> My world was small that time but there were so may things that I could learn. 

those thing were not on the textbooks, at the school, at home. those were so special experiences that I could have.
>> Those are the things that we can't learn from school, textbooks or our home. Those  are very special experiences that a person can have. 

but at the present 
children are online. 
>> But nowadays, children are always online. 

they are in the internet.
>> They use the internet a lot. 

 their world now is vast but it is only exist in the internet.
>> Their world is bad but only revolves on the internet. 

 they don't want to play and experience something outside. 
>> They don't want to play and experience things outside. 

I can't blame their life style. it is changing. 
>> I can't blame their lifestyle. It is changing. 

the thing we need to have is watch the change and trying to understand.
>> The things that we need to do do is adapt to everything and try to understand. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118992 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 0
118991 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 95
118990 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 129
118989 Describe the most interesting person you met on one of your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 100
118988 What is your opinion about the increasing number of unmarried... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 84
118987 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 86
118986 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 76
118985 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 61
118984 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 3
118983 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 88
118982 The most interesting person I met on one of my travels. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 91
118981 Education ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 81
118980 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 70
118979 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 1
118978 name of school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 81
118977 Strange food in China Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 88
118976 If you can change something about the government of South Korea,... ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 2
118975 the school ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 80
118974 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 119
118973 Is there something you wish you could do with your free time but... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-13 126

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04