¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

online

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-05-09 242

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.

Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.

Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.

But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.

It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Ms. Lily!
Thank  you for allowing me to read your thought today. Keep writing to develop your skill.
Have a great day!
T. Aki~
Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.
>>> CORRECT!
Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.
>>> Their purpose is only to win the elections.
Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.
>>> Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and between men and women.
But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.
>>> But venting their complaint online is not democratic behavior.
It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
>>> It seems to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117319 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 6
117318 What kind of medicine would you like to be discovered/invented? ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 480
117317 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 0
117316 Ice cream ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 693
117315 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 2
117314 Do you believe in aliens? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 340
117313 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 197
117312 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 504
117311 About the mobile telephones. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 625
117310 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 402
117309 Have a nice day! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 675
117308 Ailens ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 639
117307 Do you think one type of natural disaster is worse than another?... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 266
117306 If you could turn back time, would you like to change your... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 879
117305 for me or others, we have to be careful in choosing colors ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 353
117304 Do you also consider yourself as a perfectionist? Why or why not? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 575
117303 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 0
117302 How would the world be different if all leaders were women? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 492
117301 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 428
117300 Experence ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-14 153

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04