¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

online

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-05-09 241

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.

Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.

Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.

But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.

It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Ms. Lily!
Thank  you for allowing me to read your thought today. Keep writing to develop your skill.
Have a great day!
T. Aki~
Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.
>>> CORRECT!
Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.
>>> Their purpose is only to win the elections.
Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.
>>> Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and between men and women.
But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.
>>> But venting their complaint online is not democratic behavior.
It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
>>> It seems to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120772 Is cloning good or bad? Why or why not? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 1
120771 What are some things people can do to keep healthy? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 757
120770 If your life was a movie, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-15 755
120769 7/14 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 618
120768 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 510
120767 What is the most common kind of crime in South Korea? What... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 538
120766 Why do you think people are so fascinated with aliens? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 947
120765 tattoo ±è*¿± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 451
120764 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 566
120763 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 735
120762 Homework for 07.14.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 1
120761 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 4
120760 Name one skill or hobby that you\'d like to learn. ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 516
120759 If you had to lose one sense, which would it be? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 575
120758 About the divorce.!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 656
120757 What is something you hate doing when you get home? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 695
120756 If you had to lose one sense, which would it be? Why? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 630
120755 What is the most common kind of crime in South Korea? What... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 454
120754 What are the advantages of eating fast food? ä*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 582
120753 What is the best way to overcome stress? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-14 653

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04