¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-08 285

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are better parts and worse parts. The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?. And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I think there are better parts and worse parts. 
>> CORRECT

The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. 
>> CORRECT

on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. 
>> On the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive compared to our generation. 

When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?.
>> CORRECT

 And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. 
>>  And then he said when I grow up, I will be a Youtuber. 

I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.
>> I think their dreams are limited because they get to know these things easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117199 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 792
117198 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 468
117197 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 613
117196 we should prepare something if possible. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 743
117195 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 723
117194 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 214
117193 2022.3.9 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 507
117192 If you could only read one more book for your entire life, what... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 597
117191 . À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 4
117190 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 295
117189 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117188 homework ½Å*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117187 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 0
117186 What is the best thing about having a family? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 2
117185 I want to be a.. ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 430
117184 3/9 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 323
117183 what kinds of social activities do you do in church? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 218
117182 Do you think tourism will harm the earth? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 1
117181 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 360
117180 The worst shopping ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-09 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04