¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-05-08 229

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are better parts and worse parts. The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?. And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I think there are better parts and worse parts. 
>> CORRECT

The parts that got better are education, technology and welfare for children. 
>> CORRECT

on the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive, compared to our generation. 
>> On the other hand, the worse part is that the kids don't seem to be sensitive compared to our generation. 

When I played with my cousin, I asked him what do you want to be when you grow up?.
>> CORRECT

 And then he said when I grow up, I will be an Youtuber. 
>>  And then he said when I grow up, I will be a Youtuber. 

I think their dreams are limited because They get to know these things easily.
>> I think their dreams are limited because they get to know these things easily.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117686 Good evening °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 722
117685 Which one is better, studying abroad or studying in South Korea?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 815
117684 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 567
117683 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 737
117682 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117681 House and apartment. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 799
117680 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 776
117679 I will advise them to stop smoking. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 638
117678 In Korea! ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 618
117677 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2
117676 What are your expectations to your host family aside from being... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117675 Definition Of Soul Matters ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1166
117674 office ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 503
117673 Answer to \"How will you stay fit in the U.S. when all the food... ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117672 Homework °í*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 695
117671 2022.3.23 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 566
117670 2022.3.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 666
117669 How do you break your routine? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117668 What is the purpose of art? What are the reasons we visit art... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 447
117667 What policies should the government do in order to minimize the... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04