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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

5/6 writing homework is here ^^

작성자: 김*연
2022-05-07 186

회원님의 영작문



I attached the file because the writing is long ^^
and I write here because I will write on that day which the class's day from May 9. ^^ can you understand me?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi! Thank you for submitting your homework to me, Arissa.
No worries that assignment you will be submitting today, May 9th, will be posted for May 9th too.

I had read your answer and corrected it below. 

I was so surprised about your experience. It must have been very difficult. I'm glad that you chose to think optimistically. I hope that you will find a better school which would value your talent and sincerity. I also wish that you will find members that will be sincere and kind. 

PS: I'm sending the modified word document file on Skype too. ^^

~ Teacher Gina

What is your opinion about being optimistic and pessimistic? (5/6 writing)

 

I prefer being optimistic then pessimistic.

>> I prefer being optimistic than pessimistic.

We face lots of tough situations in our lives.

If we think it pessimistically, we cannot go next step.

>> If we think about it pessimistically, we cannot go to the next step.

Sometimes, we upset and it tends to be easy to endure suffer staying in sorrow and pessimism when we under the bad situation.

>> Sometimes, we feel upset and it tends to be easy to endure the suffering by staying in sorrow and pessimism when we are under a bad situation.

However, it makes us getting harder and harder.

>> However, it makes it harder and harder for us.

On the other hand, if we think optimistically, we can meet another good chances.

>> On the other hand, if we think optimistically, we can meet another good chance.

>> Or: On the other hand, if we think optimistically, we can meet other good chances.

Actually, I have an experience. Someone who was one of my book club members betraied me 2 weeks ago.

>> Someone, who was one of my book club members, betrayed me two weeks ago.

She blamed me at the formal meeting in school about my way of managing book club.

>> She blamed me at the formal meeting in school for my way of managing the book club.

The point was how gather members.

>> The point was how to gather members.

I managed book club for 7 years and she also was a member.

>> I managed the book club for 7 years and she also was a member.

 

My book club was very popular through teachers for years but time gose by I felt difficulties.

>> My book club was very popular with teachers for years but as time goes by, I felt difficulties.

The reason was some member’s low attendance rate and no show. So I told members about it and I decided I will accept new members through recommandations of old members.

All agreed my opinion and I did in that way this year.

>> All agreed with my opinion and I did it that way this year.

However she blamed me about that way in formal meeting which my principal and vice-principal are in.

>> However, she blamed me about that way in the formal meeting which my principal and vice-principal were in.

Actually it happened after I found her corruption. So I had to apologized to all teachers about the way of gathering members even though it is not illigal.

>> So I had to apologize to all the teachers about the way of gathering members even though it is not illegal.

I was so angry and upset and I got stressed. I decided to leave this school next year. I don’t want to be weakened. I don’t want to stay here. I worked here for 8 years already.

So I think it is a sign to leave to the new place and spread my abilities to other school where I can work without stress.

>> So I think it is a sign to leave for a new place and spread my abilities to another school where I can work without stress.

As a result, I can think optimistically against the ridiculous situation.

 

 

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수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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