¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-05-03 255

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
I have free time ten times a day. The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
2.~, 3.~
4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. I really want to continue. I think this is how I can grow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

Thank you so much for doing well in this output. I do admire your hard work and your desire to improve a lot. I also believe that you can achieve English fluency. Wow! I can't believe you do all these things! I am quite ashamed because it seems like you make use of your free time much better than me. I wish I can be as productive as you!

As for your answers, I particularly like your use of the word "spare". Very good word choice! As for the corrections, they are only about the punctuation marks like missing commas, periods, and some capitalization at the beginning of sentences. Please remember to capitalize the first word of sentences.

I also think it is important to keep going, so keep it up, and I'll talk to you on Thursday.

-Teacher Violet.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
>> CORRECT!

     Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
>> Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time, I can focus.

I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. 
>> CORRECT!

I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
>> CORRECT!

I have free time ten times a day. 
>> CORRECT!

The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

     4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
>> 4. When I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes.

     5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
>> 5. When I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~

6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
>> CORRECT!

7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
>> CORRECT!

     In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
>> In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English, etc.

And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
>> CORRECT!

In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. 
>> CORRECT!

I really want to continue. 
>> CORRECT!

I think this is how I can grow.
>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117526 What do you hope for your own future? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-20 685
117525 What motivates you to be part of our company (Bloomberg)? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 365
117524 Good child ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 2
117523 2022.3.18 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 868
117522 If you can learn another language, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-19 754
117521 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 485
117520 3/18 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 656
117519 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 457
117518 Do you have a different attitude to English homework now than... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 722
117517 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 608
117516 What is bread? How important is bread in your life? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 675
117515 How do you deal with failure? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 679
117514 Does language make the personalities of each nationality... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 502
117513 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 492
117512 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 757
117511 What are some stereotypes that you know about your country? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 751
117510 What is bread? How important is bread in your life? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 885
117509 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 1090
117508 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 2
117507 Do you want to change something in your appearance? Why or why... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04