¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-05-03 138

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
I have free time ten times a day. The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
2.~, 3.~
4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. I really want to continue. I think this is how I can grow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elliot!

Thank you so much for doing well in this output. I do admire your hard work and your desire to improve a lot. I also believe that you can achieve English fluency. Wow! I can't believe you do all these things! I am quite ashamed because it seems like you make use of your free time much better than me. I wish I can be as productive as you!

As for your answers, I particularly like your use of the word "spare". Very good word choice! As for the corrections, they are only about the punctuation marks like missing commas, periods, and some capitalization at the beginning of sentences. Please remember to capitalize the first word of sentences.

I also think it is important to keep going, so keep it up, and I'll talk to you on Thursday.

-Teacher Violet.

I think it¡¯s important to keep going.
>> CORRECT!

     Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time I can focus.
>> Unfortunately, I can¡¯t do anything for a long time but for a short time, I can focus.

I¡¯m always trying to make my time useful. 
>> CORRECT!

I am very interested in the use of my spare time.
>> CORRECT!

I have free time ten times a day. 
>> CORRECT!

The free time is as short as 10 minutes and as long as 50 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

1. As soon as I wake up, I post prepared English on my blog for 10 minutes.
>> CORRECT!

     4.when I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes
>> 4. When I take a bus I study 3 words for 15minutes.

     5.when I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~
>> 5. When I walk from the bus stop to the company, I listen to a lecture about management~

6. After lunch, while taking a walk ~
>> CORRECT!

7. When I get home from work, I listen to a lecture about English and post on Facebook.
>> CORRECT!

     In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English. etc.
>> In the future, when I post, I will try to post both in Korean and English, etc.

And then I participate in foreign worship services held in English every Sunday.
>> CORRECT!

In about 3 months I hope to be as good as anyone I know in English. 
>> CORRECT!

I really want to continue. 
>> CORRECT!

I think this is how I can grow.
>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118644 Ticket refund ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 5
118643 SMS-mobile phone ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 4
118642 29 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-30 79
118641 4/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 70
118640 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118639 In your country, what is the most strict policy that you know? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 71
118638 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 112
118637 What are your plans for this weekend? What did you do last... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 210
118636 Homework : Which one do you think is better, electronic books or... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118635 Do you expect a gift from your parents every time it\'s your... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 101
118634 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 62
118633 What are the times of the year that you give gifts? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 3
118632 Feedback À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 88
118631 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 0
118630 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 0
118629 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 77
118628 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 65
118627 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 2
118626 Mother ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 66
118625 Active ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 87

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04