¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people have pets?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¿À*ºó
2022-05-02 141

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First, pet can make people feel happy at home. Before I got my pet, I don¡¯t like staying at home a lot of time, and going to home early. But now, I like it. I tend to play my pet as soon as I get off work. And I want to go home early so that I walk my dog.
Secondary, Getting a pet helps people be healthy and regular. If you have a dog, as you know, you should walk the dog every day. So after you get off work, you will go out to walk. You can run with your dog, and get a fresh air.
Finally, people learn a sense of responsibility from their pet. It¡¯s very important thing of getting a pet. The sense can help their work, raising their child and being social person.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elena!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

First, pet can make people feel happy at home. 
>> First, pets can make people feel happy at home. 
Before I got my pet, I don¡¯t like staying at home a lot of time, and going to home early. 
>> Before I got my pet, I don¡¯t like staying at home a lot of times, and going home early. 
OR >> Before I got my pet, I don¡¯t like staying at home or even going home early. 
But now, I like it. 
>> CORRECT!
I tend to play my pet as soon as I get off work. 
>> I tend to play with my pet as soon as I get off work. 
OR >>  I tend to play with my pet as soon as I get off from work. 
And I want to go home early so that I walk my dog.
>> And I want to go home early so that I can walk my dog.
OR >> Also, I want to go home early so I can take a walk with my dog.
Secondary, Getting a pet helps people be healthy and regular. 
>> Second, getting a pet helps people be healthy. 
OR >> Second, getting a pet helps people stay fit. 
If you have a dog, as you know, you should walk the dog every day. 
>> CORRECT!
So after you get off work, you will go out to walk. 
>> CORRECT!
You can run with your dog, and get a fresh air.
>> CORRECT!
Finally, people learn a sense of responsibility from their pet. 
>> CORRECT!
It¡¯s very important thing of getting a pet. 
>> It¡¯s a very important thing about getting a pet. 
OR >>  It¡¯s the most important thing about having a pet. 
The sense can help their work, raising their child and being social person.
>> The sense can help their work, raising their child, and being a sociable person.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118704 What makes you happy? Why does it make you happy? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118703 I think it¡¯s important to keep going. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 133
118702 But it\'s my personality :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 61
118701 My favorite is traditional books:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 110
118700 My best experience ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 87
118699 Nowadays, a lot of offices employ open-space designs instead of... ±è*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 76
118698 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 82
118697 What is your definition of success and failure in life? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 71
118696 Shoes È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 116
118695 2022.5.2 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 94
118694 What is traveling for you? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 1
118693 Look around your house and make two (sentences) using: 1. There... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 193
118692 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 3
118691 If you can recommend a Korean dish to a foreigner, what would it... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-03 131
118690 5/2... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 100
118689 What can you say about the roles played by villains in any... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 109
118688 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 2
118687 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 0
118686 Why do you think people have pets? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 141
118685 Would you ever consider having your parents live with you when... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-02 110

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04