¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Traditional Books

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ì
2022-05-02 169

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think traditional books are better than electronic books. Because, I think book have to made of paper. Also, for me, it is more familiar to read traditional books than electronic books.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Alex! 

I think so too. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon

I think traditional books are better than electronic books. 
>> CORRECT

Because, I think book have to made of paper. 
>> It is because I books are made of paper. 

Also, for me, it is more familiar to read traditional books than electronic books.
>> Another reason is that I am more familiar in terms reading traditional books than electronic books. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119830 Is it rude to tell the person that they need to improve their... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119829 It men feel more emotional, do you think that the world will be... ÇÑ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 484
119828 ¡°You can choose your friends, but not your family,¡± What can... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119827 6.13 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 525
119826 topic 2 ½É*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 10
119825 What kind of new people do you want to meet? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 3
119824 self introduction ½É*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 41
119823 What is your dream house and where do you want it to be? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 388
119822 What is the best thing about your birthplace? / How is our... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119821 He prayed for a lively life, and he actually lived a lively life ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2838
119820 6/13 HOMEWORK (😡😡😡😡) ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 354
119819 Mobile phones can be seen as fashion statement, can this put... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 1
119818 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 303
119817 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119816 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 379
119815 Do you think people watch too much television? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 445
119814 What are some strange foreign customs that your ever heard of? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 282
119813 Exercise ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 2
119812 If you wrote a book, what would you write about? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 1
119811 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-13 341

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04