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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

What is your definition of success and why?

작성자: 금*진
2022-04-29 227

회원님의 영작문

Many people think that success is to become famous or get honor, to make tons of money, to have a lot of friends around them and so on.
However, I don’t think so. I think success is not huge. I believe that success is to be satisfied our jobs and lives, to live happily with our family without any big problems and to have a few real best friends to help each other when we are in the trouble. There are many people around us who aren’t happy no matter how much they have a lot of money, honors and friends.
Therefore, we have not to envy other people because of their lives that show on the surface and to try to spend our lives more well. I will try to get a job in Canada, speak English fluently and make my family happier. That's because it's my pleasure and success.

1. I feel under the weather today.
2. You look under the weather. Why don’t you get some rest at home?
3. My friend has been under the weather since last weekend.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Chloe! 

Contentment is the key to success. We need to be happy with the things that we already have. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

Many people think that success is to become famous or get honor, to make tons of money, to have a lot of friends around them and so on.
>> Many people think that success is to become famous or be honorable, to make tons of money, to have a lot of friends around them and so on.

However, I don’t think so. 
>> CORRECT

I think success is not huge. 
>> CORRECT

I believe that success is to be satisfied our jobs and lives, to live happily with our family without any big problems and to have a few real best friends to help each other when we are in the trouble. 
>> I believe that success is being satisfied with our jobs and lives. Second is living happily with our family without any big problems and having a few real best friends who can help us whenever we are in trouble. 

There are many people around us who aren’t happy no matter how much they have a lot of money, honors and friends.
>> There are many people around us who aren’t happy no matter how much money they have, honors and friends.

Therefore, we have not to envy other people because of their lives that show on the surface and to try to spend our lives more well. 
>> Therefore, we don't need to envy other people because of their lives that they show on the surface. We should try to spend our lives well. 

I will try to get a job in Canada, speak English fluently and make my family happier. 
>> CORRECT

That's because it's my pleasure and success.
>>That's because it's my pleasure and version of success.

1. I feel under the weather today.
>> CORRECT

2. You look under the weather. Why don’t you get some rest at home?
>> CORRECT

3. My friend has been under the weather since last weekend.
>> CORRECT

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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