¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task(Apr 21th, 2022)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³²*½Â
2022-04-24 368

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Can you talk about three of your most prized possessions?
I would prioritize my family as first; my beautiful wife and my lovely daughter. They are the reason why I'm breathing. Yesterday, I was sitting on my camping chair, gazing at my wife drinking a can of beer with a big grin on her face and my daughter eating snacks one after another, sometimes distributing her snacks to a little boy passing by out tent who looked 2 or 3 years younger than her. I could fully feel my inner peace even watching them enjoying themselves by doing what they want to. I could feel how much I love them.
The second is my job. Even though I told you that I¡¯m not satisfied with my job, it still has a lot of advantages compared to others.
And the last one I most cherish is me. I mean, MYSELF. My soul, my spirit and my body.

-Winners never quit. Quitters never win-

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, U Seung! 

That's indeed wonderful! I'm happy to know that you enjoyed your trip together with your family. I'm sure that your daughter and wife appreciates all the efforts you've done for them. It's good to know that you cherish yourself because it is really important that you also take good care of yourself, mentally and physically. 

Thank you for sharing!

~T. Roanne ^_^
========================================================
I would prioritize my family as first; my beautiful wife and my lovely daughter. 
>> Correct! 
They are the reason why I'm breathing. 
>> Correct! 
Yesterday, I was sitting on my camping chair, gazing at my wife drinking a can of beer with a big grin on her face and my daughter eating snacks one after another, sometimes distributing her snacks to a little boy passing by out tent who looked 2 or 3 years younger than her. 
>> Correct! 
I could fully feel my inner peace even watching them enjoying themselves by doing what they want to.
>> I could fully feel my inner peace, even watching them enjoying themselves by doing what they want to.
I could feel how much I love them.
>> Correct! 
The second is my job. Even though I told you that I¡¯m not satisfied with my job, it still has a lot of advantages compared to others.
>> Correct! 
And the last one I most cherish is me. I mean, MYSELF. My soul, my spirit and my body.
>> Correct! 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121541 What do you love doing with your relatives? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1141
121540 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 886
121539 If you could be another man or woman for a day, who would you... ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 796
121538 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121537 What if you could spend your life never sleeping? What would you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 812
121536 Dairy Áö*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 729
121535 Is change always good? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 890
121534 check please ÇÏ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 4
121533 What is your opinion about your country¡¯s disaster... ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 4
121532 Which is better, shopping in shops or shopping online? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 859
121531 Use at least 2 to 3 short paragraphs to describe your best and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1012
121530 Do you work better alone or with a team? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 951
121529 What do you shop for and who do you shop with? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1182
121528 I think people can be best friends with the opposite sex. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1069
121527 On the Internet, you can say whatever you want. Is that true? Is... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 941
121526 What makes you a good friend? Is it easy for you to make friends? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 996
121525 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121524 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 910
121523 1. How often do you use the internet? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 636
121522 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 917

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04