¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-04-23 361

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can do it, I would want to quit smoking. I've done for 5 years. Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I can't still quit it until now. But now, It's a time to quit it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, that would be a big improvement in your lifestyle. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

If I can do it, I would want to quit smoking. 
>>  CORRECT

I've done for 5 years.
>> I've been doing this for 5 years.

Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I can't still quit it until now. 
>> Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I still can't quit it until now. 

But now, It's a time to quit it.
>> But now, it's time to quit it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118639 In your country, what is the most strict policy that you know? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 204
118638 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 291
118637 What are your plans for this weekend? What did you do last... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 363
118636 Homework : Which one do you think is better, electronic books or... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 1
118635 Do you expect a gift from your parents every time it\'s your... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 280
118634 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 326
118633 What are the times of the year that you give gifts? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 3
118632 Feedback À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 258
118631 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 0
118630 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 0
118629 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 276
118628 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 238
118627 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 2
118626 Mother ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 243
118625 Active ½É*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 267
118624 What is your definition of success and why? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 299
118623 about spending time with others È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 287
118622 How can we prevent crime from happening? ±è*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 277
118621 Calling ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 10
118620 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-29 239

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04