¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-04-23 155

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can do it, I would want to quit smoking. I've done for 5 years. Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I can't still quit it until now. But now, It's a time to quit it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic! 

Yes, that would be a big improvement in your lifestyle. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

If I can do it, I would want to quit smoking. 
>>  CORRECT

I've done for 5 years.
>> I've been doing this for 5 years.

Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I can't still quit it until now. 
>> Even though I know that smoking is bad for me, I still can't quit it until now. 

But now, It's a time to quit it.
>> But now, it's time to quit it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118057 Do you think doctors are responsible in educating their patients... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118056 Did you enjoy your time as a student? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 425
118055 4/6 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 171
118054 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 123
118053 What\'s the best thing about your parents? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 376
118052 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118051 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118050 Why people do the cyberbullying ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118049 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 277
118048 Use each word in a sentence. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 132
118047 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 177
118046 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118045 Where is the most amazing place you have been? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 183
118044 The Social Norms ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118043 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 113
118042 Do you think people feel different when they wear different... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118041 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 304
118040 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 141
118039 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118038 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04