¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What benefits do you think the compulsory military will give to the individual and country as a whol

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-04-22 204

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Men in Korea should serve military service as mandatory if they don't have serious disabilities. They have to go to the army in their 20th which can be the most active age in their life and the most important time to prepare their future by studying their majors. If their are athletes, they might have problem to improve their skills. It might be time to take away their chance to become well-known sports players. Although, most people believe that they waste thier time in the military service, there are a few advantages. Firstly, they realize how their parents valuable are because they miss their family a lot due to hard tranning. Secondly, it can be turning point in their life. Some people don't know what they would like to do when they reach the age to get a job and most men spend their time to enjoy with their friends instead of preparing for their jobs. They finally realize the importance of preperation for their future life in the army. Finally, they can keep their health well

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Men in Korea should serve military service as mandatory if they don't have serious disabilities. 
>> Men in Korea should serve the military if they don't have serious disabilities. 
OR >> Men in Korea should serve the military if they don't have serious health problems. 
They have to go to the army in their 20th which can be the most active age in their life and the most important time to prepare their future by studying their majors. 
>> CORRECT!
If their are athletes, they might have problem to improve their skills. 
>> If they are athletes, they might have problems to improve their skills. 
It might be time to take away their chance to become well-known sports players.
>> It might take away their chance to become well-known sports players.
 Although, most people believe that they waste thier time in the military service, there are a few advantages. 
>>  Although, most people believe that they waste their time in the military, there are a few advantages. 
OR >> Although, most people believe that they waste their time serving in the military, there are a few advantages. 
Firstly, they realize how their parents valuable are because they miss their family a lot due to hard tranning. 
>> Firstly, they realize how valuable their parents are because they miss their family a lot due to hard training. 
Secondly, it can be turning point in their life. 
>> Secondly, it can be a turning point in their life. 
Some people don't know what they would like to do when they reach the age to get a job and most men spend their time to enjoy with their friends instead of preparing for their jobs. 
>> CORRECT!
They finally realize the importance of preperation for their future life in the army.
>> They finally realize the importance of preparation for their future life in the army.
 Finally, they can keep their health well.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119683 How would your life change if you were fluent in English? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 1
119682 Do you think there should be the death penalty? Why or why not? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 3
119681 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 321
119680 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 316
119679 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 312
119678 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 344
119677 How do you feel when you do not work out or get any exercise? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 4
119676 What do you think is the best job in the world? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-08 324
119675 [Homework] Q. What makes a restaurant famous? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 2
119674 6/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 3
119673 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 212
119672 How important is freedom for you? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 335
119671 Shabu shabu is my soul food ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 373
119670 We can\'t meet each other ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 296
119669 I like my eating habit ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 347
119668 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 307
119667 I know many happily married couples. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 309
119666 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 281
119665 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 301
119664 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04