¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What video game do you think is best and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-22 271

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, Minecraft is the best game I ever played.
I can do a lot of things in the game, and also it's interesting everyday.
Also it is keep updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.
I can play some maps that are made by other players, and also I can play with other players.
Because of these reasons, I think that Minecraft is the best game that I ever played.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Most kids nowadays love that! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

In my opinion, Minecraft is the best game I ever played.
>> CORRECT

I can do a lot of things in the game, and also it's interesting everyday.
>> I can do a lot of things in that game, and it's very interesting to play everyday.

Also it is keep updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.
>> It keeps on updating so I can experience a lot of new sources in the game every year.

I can play some maps that are made by other players, and also I can play with other players.
>> I can play on some maps that are made by other players, and play with other players too. 

Because of these reasons, I think that Minecraft is the best game that I ever played.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117234 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1
117233 Are you in favor of abortion? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117232 What is your reaction now that Yoon Seok-youl is the new... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 502
117231 3/10 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 225
117230 my dog Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117229 Why I think it is important to having friends. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 827
117228 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 2
117227 I want to go camping with my family. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 799
117226 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 930
117225 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 381
117224 Why I think late school is bad. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 449
117223 My wedding day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 3
117222 Writing Essay(Mar 9th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 679
117221 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 449
117220 Writing Essay(Mar 7th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 618
117219 Do you have a pet? What is it\'s name? How did you choose this... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 978
117218 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117217 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1234
117216 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117215 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04