¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

raise kids

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-04-20 241

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea is very difficult country to raise children. It is true.

But this is not reason that the compulsory education system and public school are not good.

Korea's school facilities and system are good commpare to the other countries.

The reason is abnaormal educational fevor.

The main cost of raising is not caring for baby but parivate academy cost.

It is also a long and chronic social problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Wonderful day, Ms. Lily!
I guess the only criteria used here is about education. But without academy, do you think it would be easy for parents to raise their kids?
Thank you for writing your thought.
Aki~
Korea is very difficult country to raise children. It is true.
>>> Korea is a very difficult country to raise children. It is true.
>>> It is true that raising children in Korea is very difficult.
But this is not reason that the compulsory education system and public school are not good.
>>> But this is not the reason that the compulsory education system and public schools are not good.
Korea's school facilities and system are good commpare to the other countries.
>>> Korea's school facilities and system are good compared to the other countries.
The reaso n is abnaormal educational fevor.
>>> The reason is abnormal educational fervor.
The main cost of raising is not caring for baby but parivate academy cost.
>>> The main cost of raising is not caring for the baby but private academy cost.
It is also a long and chronic social problem.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117740 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-26 363
117739 What do you think is the most dangerous eye problem? Why? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 289
117738 What do you think is the best TV show and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 754
117737 3/25 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 622
117736 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 800
117735 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 700
117734 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 661
117733 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1
117732 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 598
117731 How old were you when you went on your first flight? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 6
117730 If I could be an animal ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 457
117729 Food I want to eat. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 346
117728 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 598
117727 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 300
117726 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 470
117725 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 1084
117724 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 837
117723 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 466
117722 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 809
117721 HOMEWORK ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 575

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04