¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

raise kids

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-04-20 206

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Korea is very difficult country to raise children. It is true.

But this is not reason that the compulsory education system and public school are not good.

Korea's school facilities and system are good commpare to the other countries.

The reason is abnaormal educational fevor.

The main cost of raising is not caring for baby but parivate academy cost.

It is also a long and chronic social problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Wonderful day, Ms. Lily!
I guess the only criteria used here is about education. But without academy, do you think it would be easy for parents to raise their kids?
Thank you for writing your thought.
Aki~
Korea is very difficult country to raise children. It is true.
>>> Korea is a very difficult country to raise children. It is true.
>>> It is true that raising children in Korea is very difficult.
But this is not reason that the compulsory education system and public school are not good.
>>> But this is not the reason that the compulsory education system and public schools are not good.
Korea's school facilities and system are good commpare to the other countries.
>>> Korea's school facilities and system are good compared to the other countries.
The reaso n is abnaormal educational fevor.
>>> The reason is abnormal educational fervor.
The main cost of raising is not caring for baby but parivate academy cost.
>>> The main cost of raising is not caring for the baby but private academy cost.
It is also a long and chronic social problem.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118057 Do you think doctors are responsible in educating their patients... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118056 Did you enjoy your time as a student? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 426
118055 4/6 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 173
118054 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 123
118053 What\'s the best thing about your parents? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 376
118052 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118051 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118050 Why people do the cyberbullying ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118049 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 277
118048 Use each word in a sentence. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 132
118047 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 177
118046 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118045 Where is the most amazing place you have been? Why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 183
118044 The Social Norms ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118043 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 113
118042 Do you think people feel different when they wear different... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118041 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 304
118040 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 141
118039 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118038 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04