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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Listen and Take Notes Discussion

작성자: 강*수
2022-04-14 219

회원님의 영작문

I didn’t know about Natalie Warne before. I picked up with her through this class, and I realized that Natalie is a person who shining as she is. Not because of she appeared on Ophra Winfrey Show, not because she appeared and talked on TED, it just because I we watch her talk, I can feel the faith and passion she has through she’s expression and tongue. She is a woman who deserves respect. And Natalie's colleague appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and said, "Natalie's 18. Don't think you're too young. You can change the world any day. Start now. Start today.” What he said was the most intense. Hearing this, I heard many moments. And also my tears fell during watched the video. the tear I shed mixed with the reflection on myself for being too immature in the past, respect for those who came together to save the child soldiers, and expect for great things I will do in the future. Looking at this video, it says that it was taken in April 2011, which means quite long times ago.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Lydia!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


I didn’t know about Natalie Warne before. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I have no idea who Natalie Warne was.
I picked up with her through this class, and I realized that Natalie is a person who shining as she is.
>> I picked up with her through this class, and I realized that Natalie is a person who shines as she is.
 Not because of she appeared on Ophra Winfrey Show, not because she appeared and talked on TED, it just because I we watch her talk, I can feel the faith and passion she has through she’s expression and tongue. 
>>  Not because she appeared on Ophra Winfrey Show, not because she appeared and talked on TED, it's just because when we watch her talk, I can feel the faith and passion she has through her  expression and tongue. 
She is a woman who deserves respect. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> She deserves respect.
And Natalie's colleague appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and said, "Natalie's 18. Don't think you're too young. 
>> CORRECT!
You can change the world any day. 
>> CORRECT!
Start now. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Let's begin now.
Start today.” 
>> CORRECT!
What he said was the most intense. 
>> CORRECT!
Hearing this, I heard many moments. 
>> CORRECT!
And also my tears fell during watched the video. 
>> Also, my tears fell while I was watching the video. 
the tear I shed mixed with the reflection on myself for being too immature in the past, respect for those who came together to save the child soldiers, and expect for great things I will do in the future. 
>> The tears I shed are mixed with the reflection on myself for being too immature in the past, respect for those who came together to save the child soldiers, and expect for great things I will do in the future.
Looking at this video, it says that it was taken in April 2011, which means quite long times ago.
>> Looking at this video, it says that it was taken in April 2011, which means it was quite a long time ago.


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