¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The Post Everything on Social Media

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹Î
2022-04-12 282

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that people need to post everything on social media. This is because that's really stress to myself. People don't satisfied just to post and that posters will get on one's nerves. Perhaps they will continue watch their phone to check the posters, because the posters usually have the heart and comments. So, they can't concentrate on working and life. I think that for this reason.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kate!
You're back! 
I'm glad you're writing again.
This will be very good for your development.
I hope you continue to work hard every day.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't think that people need to post everything on social media. 
>> Correct
This is because that's really stress to myself. 
>> This is because it would really be stressful for me. 
People don't satisfied just to post and that posters will get on one's nerves. 
>> People are not satisfied with just posting and they can get restless.
Perhaps they will continue watch their phone to check the posters, because the posters usually have the heart and comments. 
>> Perhaps they will continue to look at their phones to check the posts because they usually have likes and comments. 
So, they can't concentrate on working and life. 
>> Correct
I think that for this reason.
>> I think this is the reason. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116739 Google Doc ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116738 The weekend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116737 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 313
116736 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 537
116735 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116734 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116733 Writing Task(Feb 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 380
116732 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 696
116731 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 633
116730 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 541
116729 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 540
116728 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 427
116727 Most People Keep their New Year\'s Resolution À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116726 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 286
116725 If you could choose an activity which you and your family could... ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116724 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 1
116723 Do you think that older people make better leaders? Explain your... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 0
116722 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 552
116721 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 6
116720 DO you have too many things in your home? Does it feel cluttered... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04