¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you will invest your money in something, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-11 276

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I have a lot of money and could invest my money in something, that it would be a new technology.
Nowadays, people are causing many kinds of pollution.
And we need a new technology that can reduce the amounts of pollution because the pollution could damage us.
And also we may save a lot of people who are dying with a new technology.
Because of these reasons, I want to invest my money in a new technology if I have a lot of money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Investments are really good but it still depends if you know how it works or not. You need to be knowledgeable about it first. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

If I have a lot of money and could invest my money in something, that it would be a new technology.
>> 
If I have a lot of money and could invest it in something, it would be on a new technology. 

Nowadays, people are causing many kinds of pollution.
>> CORRECT

And we need a new technology that can reduce the amounts of pollution because the pollution could damage us.
>> This is why we need a new technology that can reduce the amount of pollution because it can cause damages to us. 

And also we may save a lot of people who are dying with a new technology.
>> Also, we can save a lot of people from dying. 

Because of these reasons, I want to invest my money in a new technology if I have a lot of money.
>> Because of these reasons, I want to invest my money in a new technology. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117137 HOMEWORK: How could you make fruit juices by yourself? / What... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 882
117136 If you had a million dollars, what would you do? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 654
117135 Do you think it is necessary to experiment on animals to test... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 960
117134 Why Fintech? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 675
117133 Tell me something you know about Dinosaurs. ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 245
117132 Why Bloomberg? (Why did you choose to apply in Bloomberg?) ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 867
117131 What do you know about the Bloomberg? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 825
117130 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 462
117129 China\'s birth rate at record low in 2021 À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117128 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 880
117127 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 676
117126 manpower ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 957
117125 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 3
117124 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 2
117123 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 456
117122 Where do you usually get information about job hiring? Why do... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 510
117121 Do you like meeting new people? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 795
117120 How did you and your husband meet? Was it love at first sight? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 877
117119 2022.3.7 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 864
117118 Playground ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 529

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04