¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you personally want to have one? Why or wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-05 396

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

People's opinions about this is always different. Either way, we still need to respect people who have tattoos the same on how we treat others who don't. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
>> I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it's a personal choice for people. 

Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
>> Actually, we dress up and decorate our bodies with a lot of things. 

For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
>> For instance, we cut and color our hair. 

And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
>> And I think the tattoos are the same as hair cuts. 

We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
>> We all have the rights to decorate ourselves, and that includes tattoos.

Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.
>> Because of these reason, I think it is a personal choice.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118504 Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather... ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 0
118503 Would you rather go to a place where there are a lot of people... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 227
118502 4/25 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 178
118501 Make a sentence ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 201
118500 what is the worst? ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 4
118499 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 1
118498 Should immunizations remain compulsory in public schools?... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 140
118497 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 0
118496 my diary ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 2
118495 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 167
118494 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 2
118493 Where two places you would want to go on vacation? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 176
118492 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 0
118491 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 155
118490 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 152
118489 If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 193
118488 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 181
118487 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 135
118486 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 141
118485 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-25 204

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04