¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you personally want to have one? Why or wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-05 445

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

People's opinions about this is always different. Either way, we still need to respect people who have tattoos the same on how we treat others who don't. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it is just a choice of the people.
>> I don't have my own opinion about it, but I think it's a personal choice for people. 

Actually, we dress up and we decorate a lot of things on our bodies.
>> Actually, we dress up and decorate our bodies with a lot of things. 

For instance, we have a cool hair cut or a nice and unique hair cut.
>> For instance, we cut and color our hair. 

And I think the tattoos are same as a hair cut.
>> And I think the tattoos are the same as hair cuts. 

We all have a right to decorate ourselves, and it includes tattoos.
>> We all have the rights to decorate ourselves, and that includes tattoos.

Because of these reason, I think it is just a personal choice.
>> Because of these reason, I think it is a personal choice.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119039 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 0
119038 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 0
119037 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 0
119036 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 1
119035 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 200
119034 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 280
119033 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 1
119032 What is the most memorable birthday you\'ve ever had? Explain... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 130
119031 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 261
119030 bing bang theory 1 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 294
119029 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 210
119028 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 1
119027 Famous ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 2
119026 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-05-16 1
119025 Writing Task(May 13th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 259
119024 [Homework] What factor may result in the breakdown of a good... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 4
119023 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 228
119022 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 233
119021 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 240
119020 Do you think blind dates are a good way to meet someone special?... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-15 274

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04