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서비스 입니다.

Do you think you are now successful, or still unsuccessful?

작성자: 김*경
2022-04-05 184

회원님의 영작문

The answer to this question depends on what criteria I use to decide whether my life is successful or not.

When it comes to happiness or life satisfaction, I think I become successful because my life has been good to me so far. I have three children to make me happy. Sometimes looking after three children is no picnic but it's very rewarding to me. A couple of days ago, I said to myself, "What if I hadn't had these wonderful children?" Now I can't thank God enough for His gifts - three children.

However, when it comes to wealth, I am still unsuccessful because I still don't have as much money as I expect. Recently I am planning on my life in my 50s when I won't be tied to work for my salary. My wife and I are going to have early retirement before the 50s and we want to enjoy our remaining lives together. Our couple hasn't enjoyed our lives since our first daughter's birth. Therefore, we want to be away from our daily routine and enjoy our lives before it's too late or old.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Steve!

Thank you for answering this question. Good job by the way! Success is subjective and has no standard. It's really good that you laid down your definition of success. Your children are really lucky to have you as parents because you are planning for your own retirement and how to have the best life then. Most parents in the Philippines, especially those in poverty do not think about that nor do they do anything about it. Instead, they rely on their children to support them in their old age. With that said, their children are now referred to as the "sandwich generation" because they have to support their parents or their original family, as well as their newly made family (if ever they got married and had kids). 

For your answer, there weren't many corrections! Good job! Please observe when to use the apostrophe.

Keep it up Steve! This is great.
-Teacher Violet.

The answer to this question depends on what criteria I use to decide whether my life is successful or not.

-CORRECT!

When it comes to happiness or life satisfaction, I think I become successful because my life has been good to me so far. 

-CORRECT!

I have three children to make me happy. 

-CORRECT!

Sometimes looking after three children is no picnic but it's very rewarding to me. 

-CORRECT!

A couple of days ago, I said to myself, "What if I hadn't had these wonderful children?" 

-CORRECT!

Now, I can't thank God enough for His gifts - three children.

-CORRECT!

However, when it comes to wealth, I am still unsuccessful because I still don't have as much money as I expect.

-CORRECT!

Recently I am planning on my life in my 50s when I won't be tied to work for my salary. 

>> Recently, I have been planning for my life in my 50’s when I won't be tied to work for my salary. 


My wife and I are going to have early retirement before the 50s and we want to enjoy our remaining lives together. 

-CORRECT!

Our couple hasn't enjoyed our lives since our first daughter's birth. 

-CORRECT!

Therefore, we want to be away from our daily routine and enjoy our lives before it's too late or old.

-CORRECT!


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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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