¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think you are now successful, or still unsuccessful?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2022-04-05 190

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The answer to this question depends on what criteria I use to decide whether my life is successful or not.

When it comes to happiness or life satisfaction, I think I become successful because my life has been good to me so far. I have three children to make me happy. Sometimes looking after three children is no picnic but it's very rewarding to me. A couple of days ago, I said to myself, "What if I hadn't had these wonderful children?" Now I can't thank God enough for His gifts - three children.

However, when it comes to wealth, I am still unsuccessful because I still don't have as much money as I expect. Recently I am planning on my life in my 50s when I won't be tied to work for my salary. My wife and I are going to have early retirement before the 50s and we want to enjoy our remaining lives together. Our couple hasn't enjoyed our lives since our first daughter's birth. Therefore, we want to be away from our daily routine and enjoy our lives before it's too late or old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve!

Thank you for answering this question. Good job by the way! Success is subjective and has no standard. It's really good that you laid down your definition of success. Your children are really lucky to have you as parents because you are planning for your own retirement and how to have the best life then. Most parents in the Philippines, especially those in poverty do not think about that nor do they do anything about it. Instead, they rely on their children to support them in their old age. With that said, their children are now referred to as the "sandwich generation" because they have to support their parents or their original family, as well as their newly made family (if ever they got married and had kids). 

For your answer, there weren't many corrections! Good job! Please observe when to use the apostrophe.

Keep it up Steve! This is great.
-Teacher Violet.

The answer to this question depends on what criteria I use to decide whether my life is successful or not.

-CORRECT!

When it comes to happiness or life satisfaction, I think I become successful because my life has been good to me so far. 

-CORRECT!

I have three children to make me happy. 

-CORRECT!

Sometimes looking after three children is no picnic but it's very rewarding to me. 

-CORRECT!

A couple of days ago, I said to myself, "What if I hadn't had these wonderful children?" 

-CORRECT!

Now, I can't thank God enough for His gifts - three children.

-CORRECT!

However, when it comes to wealth, I am still unsuccessful because I still don't have as much money as I expect.

-CORRECT!

Recently I am planning on my life in my 50s when I won't be tied to work for my salary. 

>> Recently, I have been planning for my life in my 50¡¯s when I won't be tied to work for my salary. 


My wife and I are going to have early retirement before the 50s and we want to enjoy our remaining lives together. 

-CORRECT!

Our couple hasn't enjoyed our lives since our first daughter's birth. 

-CORRECT!

Therefore, we want to be away from our daily routine and enjoy our lives before it's too late or old.

-CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118197 Children crying ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 3
118196 party ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 182
118195 The strangest food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118194 Was there a situation when you felt tongue-tied? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 234
118193 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 163
118192 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1
118191 Writing Task(Apr 12th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 130
118190 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 3
118189 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 135
118188 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 112
118187 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118186 The best activity ot during camping. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 158
118185 What city do you think is the best in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 436
118184 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 145
118183 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 143
118182 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 2
118181 How do you control or take away your unwanted loneliness? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118180 What is one good program of your company that makes its... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 0
118179 Seoul is representative city of South Korea ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 172
118178 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04