¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

City With Changes

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿µ
2022-04-01 659

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The city is made with a lot of people.
Therefore, it has a lot of energy.
Those energies make a lot of changes.
Some of them are planned and prepared, some of them are made in chaos or coincidence, some of them gives harsh pain, some of them make chances.
Those things have a lot to think, so we lost our thoughts sometimes.
All in all, those things makes own story of city anyway.
And that story makes it fascinating.


p.s Goodbye and thank you (I've been writing this for 50 minutes)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Justine!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


The city is made with a lot of people.

>> The city is made of a lot of people.
Therefore, it has a lot of energy.

>> CORRECT!
Those energies make a lot of changes.

>> CORRECT!
Some of them are planned and prepared, some of them are made in chaos or coincidence, some of them gives harsh pain, some of them make chances.

>> Some of them are planned and prepared, some of them are made in chaos or coincidence, some of them gives harsh pain, and some of them make chances.
Those things have a lot to think, so we lost our thoughts sometimes.

>> Those things have a lot to think, so we lose our thoughts sometimes.
All in all, those things makes own story of city anyway.

>> All in all, those things make the own story of a city.
And that story makes it fascinating.

>> That story makes it fascinating.


-------------------------------------------

Hi Justine,

It's been an honor and a pleasure to have been your teacher and to be part of your growth. 

I wish you all the best in life. I hope you find the happiness and dream that your heart desires.

The only person you should be in competition with is yourself yesterday.

In other words, strive to be better that what you were yesterday and be a better version of yourself with each new day.

Good luck and take care! :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118431 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 221
118430 What is your type of personality? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 176
118429 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 1
118428 part1-2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 192
118427 part1-2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 152
118426 What kind of challenge would analytics department and Bloomberg... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 166
118425 Describe your understanding and motivation on the role of an... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 134
118424 3rd assignment À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 215
118423 What do you think should we do before job interviews? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 193
118422 Howework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 170
118421 202.4.21 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 190
118420 What sports can you play? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 247
118419 What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 0
118418 What do you think should we do before job interviews? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 192
118417 Are you good at memorizing? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 228
118416 What is your idea of the best travel experience? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 210
118415 4/21 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 169
118414 Handwriting and personality. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 142
118413 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 1
118412 I like BTS ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-21 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04