¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think we¡¯d better not borrow money

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-29 908

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had borrowed money a long time ago. When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elliot! 

Thank you again for answering today's homework. I also didn't want to owe anybody money, and I didn't understand people who borrow money. Recently though, because of some unexpected financial needs, I had to borrow some money from my friend. I feel really bad and stressed about it because I always want to pay them back as soon as possible. It also feels terrible when most of the salary goes into paying debts.

Today's sentences were really good, just please avoid using So, But, Because, and And at the beginning of sentences. Usually, you can use these to connect two clauses to make a complex sentence. Other than that, very good! I hope you are proud of yourself :)

-Teacher Violet

I had borrowed money a long time ago. 
>> CORRECT!

When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. 
>> When I bought my house, I borrowed money from my parents and from a bank. 

When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. 
>> When we need money in our lives, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have some in our account so we usually borrow money from family or collegues in a short time. 

And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. 
>> Then I pay the money back within the same day or the next day.

I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. 
>> CORRECT!

I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I have prepared some money in case I suddenly need it.

Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 
>>  Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone so we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 

I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.
>>  I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money but It¡¯s important that we should prepare for that time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117643 What can you bring to Bloomberg and customer service team? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 322
117642 Why Bloomberg customer service? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 511
117641 What keeps you awake at night sometimes? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 6
117640 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 145
117639 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 3
117638 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 685
117637 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 556
117636 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1
117635 Let¡¯s go to Jeju-do(island). ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 275
117634 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-03-23 384
117633 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 302
117632 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 405
117631 What gift is good to bring to your host family? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 533
117630 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 3
117629 Military Service ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 450
117628 Why I like more star than moon. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 502
117627 Why I like more bacon than egg bokkeumbab. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 968
117626 How I keep clean my room ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 490
117625 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 353
117624 Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 354

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04