¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think we¡¯d better not borrow money

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÁØ
2022-03-29 897

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I had borrowed money a long time ago. When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Elliot! 

Thank you again for answering today's homework. I also didn't want to owe anybody money, and I didn't understand people who borrow money. Recently though, because of some unexpected financial needs, I had to borrow some money from my friend. I feel really bad and stressed about it because I always want to pay them back as soon as possible. It also feels terrible when most of the salary goes into paying debts.

Today's sentences were really good, just please avoid using So, But, Because, and And at the beginning of sentences. Usually, you can use these to connect two clauses to make a complex sentence. Other than that, very good! I hope you are proud of yourself :)

-Teacher Violet

I had borrowed money a long time ago. 
>> CORRECT!

When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. 
>> When I bought my house, I borrowed money from my parents and from a bank. 

When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. 
>> When we need money in our lives, we experienced that we don¡¯t have enough money at that time even if we have some in our account so we usually borrow money from family or collegues in a short time. 

And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. 
>> Then I pay the money back within the same day or the next day.

I think if possible we¡¯d better not borrow the money. 
>> CORRECT!

I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I have prepared some money in case I suddenly need it.

Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 
>>  Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone so we don¡¯t need to borrow suddenly. 

I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money. But It¡¯s important that we should prepare that time.
>>  I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it¡¯s more efficient than using my money but It¡¯s important that we should prepare for that time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117706 If you could edit your memories, which ones would you erase and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-25 327
117705 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 315
117704 Where is it best to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone? Why? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 139
117703 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 382
117702 3/24 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 465
117701 Are you someone who likes change? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 692
117700 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 3
117699 Writing Task(Mar 23th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 216
117698 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 6
117697 Why do you think conversations are important? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 682
117696 How many hours of sleep do you need and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117695 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 300
117694 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 2
117693 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 525
117692 What takes up most of your time? Do you think you manage your... ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 0
117691 If you could have any food right now, what would it be? And why? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 370
117690 Without weekends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1
117689 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 486
117688 If you could have any food right now, what would it be? And why? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 1212
117687 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? Why or why... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-24 681

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04