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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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I think we’d better not borrow money

작성자: 김*준
2022-03-29 893

회원님의 영작문

I had borrowed money a long time ago. When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don’t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. I think if possible we’d better not borrow the money. I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don’t need to borrow suddenly. I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it’s more efficient than using my money. But It’s important that we should prepare that time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Elliot! 

Thank you again for answering today's homework. I also didn't want to owe anybody money, and I didn't understand people who borrow money. Recently though, because of some unexpected financial needs, I had to borrow some money from my friend. I feel really bad and stressed about it because I always want to pay them back as soon as possible. It also feels terrible when most of the salary goes into paying debts.

Today's sentences were really good, just please avoid using So, But, Because, and And at the beginning of sentences. Usually, you can use these to connect two clauses to make a complex sentence. Other than that, very good! I hope you are proud of yourself :)

-Teacher Violet

I had borrowed money a long time ago. 
>> CORRECT!

When I bought my house, I borrowed it from my parents and a bank. 
>> When I bought my house, I borrowed money from my parents and from a bank. 

When we need money in our life, we experienced that we don’t have enough money at that time even if we have that in our account. So we usually borrow money from family or colleges in a short time. 
>> When we need money in our lives, we experienced that we don’t have enough money at that time even if we have some in our account so we usually borrow money from family or collegues in a short time. 

And then I pay the money back until the same day or next day. 
>> Then I pay the money back within the same day or the next day.

I think if possible we’d better not borrow the money. 
>> CORRECT!

I have prepared some money that I need suddenly. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I have prepared some money in case I suddenly need it.

Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone. So we don’t need to borrow suddenly. 
>>  Nowadays we can send or receive money easily by our cellphone so we don’t need to borrow suddenly. 

I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it’s more efficient than using my money. But It’s important that we should prepare that time.
>>  I know we need to borrow money sometimes and it’s more efficient than using my money but It’s important that we should prepare for that time.
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